So it feels like Sturt just fired up the time machine and said, "Hey, remember the SturtySixers days? Let's bring that back." Not sure that’s the smartest move—you’re telling me Rigoni wasn’t available? Watching J Dub coach last season was like déjà vu from his Sixers playing days, and not in a good way. The guy somehow fumbled his way into a head coaching gig without showing any actual talent. That’s like if the Knicks hired Eddy Curry to run player development—how did we get here?
Now, Forestville... man, calling it a “team that needs a strong coach” is like calling the Titanic “a boat that needed a sturdier hull.” They don’t need a strong coach—they need The Mountain from Game of Thrones plus a degree in group psychology and maybe a couple favors from the basketball gods. Whoever takes that job is going to need more than X’s and O’s, they’re going to need divine intervention.
And what the hell is going on with Norwood? After last year’s implosion they don't need to just hit reset, they need to slam it into reverse like they’re auditioning for Fast & Furious: EuroLeague Drift. For a club with arguably the deepest junior talent pool, their senior squad is allergic to success lately. They need to open the war chest—like now. Maybe dust off the Rolodex, call up Cooper, and see if he wants one last run at glory. And if Connor Henry somehow ends up with the gig, you already know what’s coming: “You’re over-dribbling, you’re over-dribbling, you’re over-dribbling—AND YOU’RE NOT EVEN F***ING PLAYING!”
Then there’s Andy with the Eagles men… what’s the master plan there? Has he got anything new up his sleeves, or his jorts? You’re telling me there’s a world where Bryce Cotton takes a pay cut to suit up for them? That’s like asking DiCaprio to star in your indie student film for free pizza and IMDb credit. If Andy couldn’t pull it off with last year’s roster, maybe it’s time to acknowledge the writing on the wall. Sometimes you just gotta know when to fold the tent and head home.